About this journal
This is the online journal of a girl named Audrey Clare. She used to be just Clare until her mother agreed with her that that's a really crap name and anyway it was caused by the epidural. This is the fourth incarnation of her online journal, with the first three being:
She's about as nice as your average feral cat, unless you can prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you have big floppy ears, a cottontail and a wrinkly cute nose, or are a boy named Joshua. She once scratched and clawed her way through graduate school, but that ended at least six months ago, so she's decided to do it all over again, 3000 miles to the left. No one's really sure why.
She really likes pirates, but the boy named Joshua will not let her transform their bed into a pirate ship. Yet. Negotiations are ongoing.
Among other bizarre tendencies, she keeps a file filled with all the books she's read since the 8th grade. It used to be a blue notebook, but there goes that boy named Joshua again. Now it's an Excel file.
She used to play soccer five nights a week, but has subsequently stopped, which means she's now able to bend her legs at the knees unaided. But if you need a fullback, and you know where to find her, perhaps you can hire...
Audrey Clare causes perfectly good shoes and teabags to explode, and attracts escaped mental patients. If you are a shoe, a teabag or a mental patient, she urges you to just take a moment for yourself, and calm down.
This is the online journal of a girl named Audrey Clare. She used to be just Clare until her mother agreed with her that that's a really crap name and anyway it was caused by the epidural. This is the fourth incarnation of her online journal, with the first three being:
- 1999-2000 Time Is Like A Clock in My Ass
- 2000-2001 November Spawned A Monster
- 2001-2003 (with large chunks of time unaccounted for) Touched by an Anvil
She's about as nice as your average feral cat, unless you can prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you have big floppy ears, a cottontail and a wrinkly cute nose, or are a boy named Joshua. She once scratched and clawed her way through graduate school, but that ended at least six months ago, so she's decided to do it all over again, 3000 miles to the left. No one's really sure why.
She really likes pirates, but the boy named Joshua will not let her transform their bed into a pirate ship. Yet. Negotiations are ongoing.
Among other bizarre tendencies, she keeps a file filled with all the books she's read since the 8th grade. It used to be a blue notebook, but there goes that boy named Joshua again. Now it's an Excel file.
She used to play soccer five nights a week, but has subsequently stopped, which means she's now able to bend her legs at the knees unaided. But if you need a fullback, and you know where to find her, perhaps you can hire...
Audrey Clare causes perfectly good shoes and teabags to explode, and attracts escaped mental patients. If you are a shoe, a teabag or a mental patient, she urges you to just take a moment for yourself, and calm down.
