I'm sure at some point in the future, all this, *gestures wildly at page*, will be well organized and beautiful, and a tribute to the art of intuitive information arrangement. Until then, feel free to be amazed, as I am, that there's an actual journal going on here. Don't get me wrong, I have been keeping an online journal for the past 3 years, I just haven't bothered to post any of it.

One of the things about the stunning car wreck that is depression vs creativity, is that your brain will keep spinning its creative wheels, churning out idea after idea, project after project, entry after entry, only to be thwarted time and again by the overwhelming need to lie very still and contemplate your own lack of self-worth. It's probably for the best that no one got to read any entries from "One If By Sea, Two If By BART" (April 2002-March 2003). Granted, I'm sure there were some light moments in this bildungsroman of girl-vs-city-via-public-transportation, but they were generally overwhelmed by a sense of inescapable doom. As indeed, the author was. The only entry that actually escaped from that journal took the form of a submission to The Art of the Mix (now lost to the accelerated mists of linkrot). Visitor comments urged me to seek help. People, that's a bad sign.

Then there was "Why I Left California" (April 2003-December 2003). A step forward, if not 3000 miles to the left. Entries managed to escape from my head, if not to a server near you. (PSA: Calling Advances.com the worst web host ever would mean that they'd actually succeeded at something.) An excerpt, preserved in my planner:

October 2: Prismiq Logic
Media is a topic of some debate in my house. Not left vs right vs CNN you understand, but CD vs mp3 vs cassette tape. One memorable discussion closed with the words, 'Well if I can put This American Life on a CD, *then* can I have it in the living room???" shortly followed by the loss of a black, ceramic fish. Discretion forbids me from identifying the thrower.

For now, it's more than enough to post updates and then walk away. Suddenly I can go off to sign up for yoga classes and AD'n'D campaigns, finish knitting projects and go for hikes. Moving across geographical space has given me more room mentally, and it'll take some time for the online topography to catch up. Which is probably for the best. Yes, I'm sorely tempted to spend evenings tweaking this MT thang and enabling comments and an interesting sidebar and all the other things that Yoshi will never see via Newsmonster, but instead I'll continue to be content with simply remembering to update. Next: holiday cards! Where ordering New Years cards means never having to admit you procrastinate.