Gordie: I don't know how to put this, Dan, but everyone around here thinks you're dead.
Zombie Dan: What? Why, Gordie?
Gordie: Because you *are* dead.
Zombie Dan: You bought that acid from Moon, didn't you? Goddamit! Gordie, I told you not to mess around with that stuff!

Like turtles, only squishier.

I finished one paper for the Aphasia Class of Doom (codename ACOD) and rewarded myself with a movie. Which, not all that coincidentally, also involved brains.

I Was a Teenage Zombie is the heartwarming tale of five friends who try to score some weed and wind up creating, being killed by and then turning into, zombies. A 1987 classic that's supposed to be a spoof, but considering how many "serious" movies it reminds me of, and in fact, how many it's better than, I would classify it as a serious example of the genre. At this point is it even possible to spoof zombie movies? The last example that comes to mind is Army of Darkness, where the skeleton army all pull fun faces as they're blown to smithereens. Other than that, the line gets a little fuzzy.

Teenage Zombie is interesting and witty, examines the ethics and philosophy of mad science and has really strange plot twists. The movie never gets uninteresting, with references to both Poe and Scooby-Doo. It's also genuinely scary in parts. Kelly, if you do not put this movie in your Amazon basket right now, I may never forgive you. Dawn of the Dead meets Romeo and Juliet via Slacker, with a healthy dose of the too short-lived Nickelodeon series Pete and Pete, set to new-wave 80s music. Don't fall for Zombie Dan!

Also, looking it up on Google I find that it's apparently quite popular as a middle school musical. I'm guessing they take out the zombie rape scene for it, though. And conveniently overlook the fact that the whole plot device is a high school quest for illicit substances.

Gordy: You see Cindy, what you saw wasn't really Dan. We took Dan's body and we threw it in a radioactive river, and what you saw was the result of kinetic energy combined with a high dose of radiation, right Chuck? You see, most of Dan's brain cells were preserved, so it gave the appearance of being a real Dan. But it's not really a real Dan. It's really a dead Dan, with the appearance of a living Dan, but he's, he's dead.
Cindy: Bullshit.

This movie taught me that there are certain diners in Austin you can go to with a bright blue zombie in tow and no one will look twice. Or at least they'll let you hide him in the cellar.

All this gushing (ha!) even though Tivo cut off the last 10 minutes. That's quality, baby.

Oh, and we also withdrew our bid on the flat-roof house and bought another one, but that's a different story.