June 29, 2005
Bravely into the fray
Reports of my Project have been greatly exaggerated.
Over on various other Eenterweb locations, various people are arguing about quotes. And wherever people gather to argue about quotes, I am there. I am over on Listology starting quote memes. I am curled up in the corner, rocking back and forth, cradling my little notebooks full of quotes. Luckily, my Evil Twin has the same mania, meaning that we spent an entire evening of her visit nominally watching Vicar of Dibley, but in actuality reading out quotes to each other. Quotes from books, quotes from movies.
I think it started with the AFI's 100 Best Film Quotes which got a lot of press, all of which agreed that the quotes chosen for the list sucked. From there it went to Alas, a Blog, where the gauntlet was thrown, and people contributed their favorites in the comments. From there, it went to Norbizness, who has so far posted 75 of his own favorite 100. There are some good ones, but really. Out of all the beauty and majesty that is Big Trouble in Little China, the quote:
""Hey, I'm a reasonable guy. But I've just experienced some very unreasonable things."
gives not even a tenth of the joy of:
"When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, looks you crooked in the eye and asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."
Also, for House of Yes, nothing trumps: "I'm going to baste the turkey and hide the kitchen knives." Unless it's: "They've switched me - I used to be green, now I'm brown. I wanted a pill to match my eyes. Color me beautiful!"
The prevailing thought is that the AFI's movie quotes were chosen for their memorability, their resonance with pop culture, not necessarily their quality/ Yes I said it! And I'll do more than say it! I'll come up with my own list, with assloads of help from Twinly. We're aiming for the quotes that just continue to give and give, long after you've memorized the movie entirely.
100 Best Movie Quotes Evar
(1-25)
"When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, looks you crooked in the eye and asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail." --Big Trouble in Little China
"They've switched me - I used to be green, now I'm brown. I wanted a pill to match my eyes. Color me beautiful!" --House of Yes
"Laugh while you can, monkey-boy!" -- The Adventures of Buckaroo Bonzai Across the Eighth Dimension
"Now, listen carefully. Lord Denethor is Boromir's father. To give him news of his beloved son's death would be most unwise. And do not mention Frodo, or the Ring. And say nothing of Aragorn either. In fact, it's better if you don't speak at all, Peregrin Took." --LOTR: Return of the King
"We got a contract. 20 hours, out and back. You beat my engineman to death, it's gonna take a helluva lot longer, which is okay by me, since overtime will run you double-rate." --Deep Rising
Lance:Hey. Hot sluts with tits.
Rick: You don't need to do that any more, remember buddy?
Lance: Oh yeah. Sorry. Force of habit. Oh what the hell - I LOVE MEN. Who wants me?
Rick: Well you don't need to do that either...
--Out Cold
"Give me the child. Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the Goblin City to take back the child that you have stolen, for my will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom is as great. You have no power over me." --Labyrinth
Marcia: I'm so happy for you, Jan!
Jan: Really, Marcia?
Marcia: No.
--A Very Brady Sequel
"Goddamn these people are confusing." --Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me
James Bond: Who'd want to put a contract on me?
M: Jealous husbands! Outraged chefs! Humiliated tailors! The list is endless!
--The Man With the Golden Gun
Mabel: Frederic, have you ever worn a whalebone corset? Well no, we established that, didn't we? It chokes and strangles, Frederic. I won't be choked and strangled by someone else's dumb ideas of custom and duty. Would you Harry, would you? Never to know the rich and real, wondrous person beating and throbbing inside me. Frederic, can you see me throbbing?
Frederic: I see! I see! I'm throbbing too!
--The Pirate Movie
"What on earth are you doing here? Last night I met you on a train and you said you were going to Bucharest, now I find you here waving this silly pistol in my face. I can only conclude you are a thief or you are drunk. Are you drunk sir? Maybe you're mad. Well, in that case I can only humor you and hope for the best." -- The Mask of Dimitrios
"Belt of Orion? Try Belt of O'Fryin!"
(cue flamethrower)
--Decoys
"I'm rooting for the crocodile. I hope he swallows your friends whole." --Lake Placid
"You were born with an asshole, Doris, you don't need Chuck." --Night of the Comet
"A truck that spits blood? You have *got* to be shitting me!" --Thirteen Ghosts
"Very stupid to kill the only servant in the house. Now we don't even know where to find the marmalade." --And Then There Were None
"Doctor. Would I bring you just an ordinary human skull?" --The Skull
Nell: You'll never gonna believe how I found them.
Theo: How did you find them?
Nell: The blood led me to the bookcase.
Theo: The blood?
Nell: Little footprints in blood.
Theo: Nell, I'm worried about you.
--The Haunting(1999)
Reporter:Say listen, is he working on a case?
Nora Charles: Yes, he is.
Reporter: What case?
Nora Charles: A case of scotch. Pitch in and help him.
--The Thin Man
"Pig Pen, when I want advice about a good Planet of the Apes film or maybe how to get the resin out of my bong I'll come to you ok? But I am not gonna take romantic advice from somebody who cannot spell romantic or advice... or bong." --Out Cold
James Bond: Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
Q: That's putting it mildly, 007.
--For Your Eyes Only
"It's just a book. No harm ever came from reading a book. " --The Mummy
Gary:Shotguns? What, like guns that fire shot?
Barry the Baptist: Oh, you must be the brains of the operation. Yes, guns that fire shot.
--Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
Ms. Perky: So, I hear you've been terrorizing Mr. Morgan's class... again.
Kat Stratford: Expressing my opinion is not a terrorist action.
Ms. Perky: The way you expressed your opinion to Bobby Ridgeway? By the way, his testicle retrieval operation went quite well, in case you're interested.
Kat Stratford: I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls.
--10 Things I Hate About You
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