The other night when I went swimming at the gym on campus, I noticed something a little peculiar. There were three people in my lane, all swimming relatively organizedly, even if two of those people had randomly jumped in off the diving board, rather than getting in at one end and doing the ritual "split the lane or circle-swim discussion". Whatever. Fine. Y'all never went to swim practice. That's cool. In one lane next to us, one person, turbo swimming, and practicing fly and back and breast and generally Not Fucking Around. In the lane on the other side of us, a portion of the water polo team, scrimmaging and doing some sort of drills.

Hypothetically, if you and two of your sororitard sisters showed up at the pool to splash around in your bikinis, which lane would you choose?

That's right, you'd all jump into the lane with three people already in it, because then you could be close to the water polo team and have them throw their balls at you. I'm just guessing.

I took off and split the lane with the turbo-swimmer. It actually worked out well, what with her being a Porsche, and me being a VW bus (I need to get embroidered on the butt of my suit: "Honk if anything falls off"). I stayed out of her way and tried not to marvel at the fact she would lap me three whole times while I was kickboarding.