I understand that NBC is apparently bemoaning the fact that more Americans are watching American Idol than the Olympics even though they traded New Hampshire, Joan Rivers and seventy zillion dollars for the tv rights. I'd just like to point something out to NBC: every damn time I turn on CNBC it's curling. Curling curling curling. I am slowly learning to appreciate the curling but come on. Throw me a bone. Some bobsled. Some snowcross. A little biathlon with batshit-crazy Austrians. But no.

At the gym tonight I was on the elliptical machine, jumpin' pumpin' soundtrack on my headphones, but with only Seinfeld or curling to distract me from my thighs. It was a close choice, but eventually, the curling. I refused to plug in to the soundtrack, and I am kind of clueless as to how curling works, so I was dependent on watching crowd reactions because the curlers? Not big on emotion. One of many reasons I'm sure they'd be crap at ice dancing. At no point in time (and to add insult to injury it was USA v Canada) did one of the sweepers drop the broom and then get into an angry staredown with the pusher, or another sweeper, or the biscuit.

At the same time I have nothing but praise for Olympic Ice, the snarkathon led by my new personal guru, Mary Carillo. There is no one that woman won't poke with a big old spoon. Did you win a medal? Really? Super. Now explain your eyeshadow to Mary. Is it supposed to match your skirt or your partner's chest hair? Tell Mary, because Mary remains enthusiastically puzzled. Also sometimes Mary is bored, and cannot keep the snark in check AT ALL, and then you know that drinking with Mary would ROCK.

Also, there are moments on Olympic Ice when David Pelletier is speaking and I swear you can hear his wife beating her head against her mike. Crackling good television.

Really, I do other things besides watch the Olympics. I read. I go to Pub Quiz and miss questions about The Tubes, because to me they sound exactly like The Kinks getting drunk with J Geils Band. I work. I climb. I pine, I perish. And then the curling comes back on.