to the undergraduate students of UVM:

I understand that much of the world is still shiny and new, and that your lives resemble MTV'S The Real World entirely too much for anyone's comfort, but I would have thought that some things do not need saying. It turns out I am wrong, so here we go.

You have two options. Either:

a) Stand next to an open, backlit window, watching passersby and talking moonily into your cellphone, or

b) Run around butt naked.

A or B, but not both. Okay? No, there is no pop quiz, but this afternoon, there really should have been. And if you live on South Prospect St, you know what I'm talking about.

Later, on the bus home, this was all made up for by a quick glimpse of a small child walking through the parking lot with his parents, swaddled in many layers of winter clothing, topped with a bright red Superman cape. Someone knows where it's at.